Rescue Me
by Two Crazies And A Pen
Summary: Two strange ninja appear in Konoha destined to go on a mission to bring an old friend home...wackiness ensues.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Scarlet and Dreamer, the creators of Two Crazies and a Pen welcome you to our collaboration for Naruto. Be prepared for some wackiness in Rescue Me! **

_In the Village of Konoha, there was trouble brewing. Two new ninjas had arrived in the Village, wielding unspeakable powers of doom and destruction. They held the lives of all of Konoha in their hands and they were stranger than anyone that Konoha had ever encountered. _

_Their names were Scarlet and Dreamer. Their purpose in Konoha was unknown and their mission, never mentioned. But the part that troubled the villagers of Konoha the most was their special powers. The power of the Author…_

Naruto and Kakashi were talking about Tsunade's newest headaches: the new ninjas. They had heard plenty about them, but they had yet to see them.

"I don't even think they're real!" Naruto exclaimed, crossing his arms. "If they were as bad as the others claim they are, we'd have seen them by now, but we haven't! So, they can't be real!"

"Oh, then you can explain why Neji is dancing," Kakashi said, not looking up from his newest Icha Icha book.

"Ha! Neji _dancing_? That won't happen in a million years!" Naruto sighed and looked at his sensei. "Kakashi-sensei, I think you need to get your eye checked."  
"Or perhaps you really are too stupid to look behind you," Kakashi shot back.

Naruto growled. "I am not stupid! A little slow, maybe, but not stupid!"

"Then turn your little slow ass around already."

With a frustrated sigh, Naruto glanced over his shoulder. To his surprise, he saw the one thing he never expected to see in his lifetime. Neji Hyuuga was dancing around like a crazy fool…or a chicken with its head cut off. Naruto couldn't decide between the two. He just stared at the Hyuuga, dumbfounded and speechless and frozen in place.

"Neji! Why the hell are you dancing?" Naruto demanded once he was able to recover.

Neji's jaw tightened in anger, but he continued to dance. "Do you think I want to dance? I have no control over this! These foolish movements are involuntary, I can assure you, Naruto!"

Naruto's mouth twitched and then he burst out laughing. "This is great! Neji's doing interpretive dances…the only problem is, I don't have a camera! Kakashi-sensei, do you have a camera?"

"If he pulls out a camera, I'm going to kill you both when I break free of this Jutsu!" Neji growled, his lavender eyes glowing in his fury.

"When did they get a-hold of you?" Kakashi asked, still not looking up.

"While I was off training by myself! I was completely caught off guard! I didn't even know what hit me until it was too late!" Neji shouted in his anger. "What I can't understand is how they got me…I had the Byakugan activated and everything! I should have been able to see them!"

"You couldn't see us because we weren't there," a new voice stated boldly.

The three turned to see two female ninja standing where no one had been before. The shorter of them was just taller than Neji, with crimson eyes and long purple hair. She wore a white shirt with huge sleeves, knee-length orchid pants, black sandals, and her Leaf headband tied around her right arm, where she also wore a black glove over her hand.

The tallest one had long black and white hair tied in a thick braid that was draped over her should and pale lavender eyes. She wore a black linen tube top under a mesh shirt, a short jacket with no sleeves, black form fitting pants, and black sandals. Her Leaf headband was tied around her left arm.

In both females hands were a notebook and a pencil. Writing was scrawled on the shorter one's notebook and from where he stood, Naruto could make out Neji's name.

"You were the ones who made Neji start dancing?" Naruto asked with a smile on his face.

"Yes," the taller ninja said with a small smile. "I am Scarlet and my companion is Dreamer. We have the kekkei genkai of the Author, but as you can probably tell from our appearance, we are not related in any way."

"Well, you two are geniuses!" Naruto declared, giving them two thumbs up. "Anyone who can make Neji embarrass himself is a genius in my books!"

Dreamer smiled and her cheeks took a light tint of pink to them. "Thank you for that. We could do worse if we wanted to. In fact, Scarlet's been wanting to get back at her fellow Branch members for quite some time now. We could torture Neji all day."

Neji gasped. "You're a Branch member?"

Scarlet smirked. "I _was_ a Branch member. Left the house while the getting was good because our family couldn't accept a girl that can control their fate yet didn't use her powers to help them. Damn gene mutations to hell…Well, at least this one makes life interesting. And I really don't care that much that they disowned me…It's just the way they did it that got to me. Throwing me out in the streets…How rude!"

"Revenge coming right up, Scar!" Dreamer exclaimed and held her notebook at the ready.

"NO!" Neji exclaimed.

Neji's dance speed increased before he dropped down into a splits move, causing Kakashi and Naruto to grimace. He remained in that position for a full thirty seconds before standing up. His expression was that of an angry person, but his stance had changed. He looked directly at Naruto before opening his mouth.

"Could you pwetty-pwease braid my hair, Naruto-sama?" he asked with the voice of a six-year-old girl.

Naruto guffawed and fell to the ground, rolling with laughter. "That is priceless!"

Scarlet smiled at Naruto's reaction. "Yes, it is, but I'm frankly growing bored. Torturing Neji isn't as fun as I thought it would be." Her eyes lit up. "Maybe I can make him a little puppet for awhile."

"Okay." Dreamer ripped out the piece of paper she'd been writing on and it burnt up in her hands. "It's your turn to have fun with him."

Neji had a moment of reprieve from his torture. His eyes narrowed and a vein throbbed on his forehead. "You will not do anything else to me or I'll tell Lady Tsunade on you!"

"Ooh, what a tattle tale," Dreamer commented with a frown.

"I think I'll start with that first," Scarlet said, scribbling something down. "Neji suddenly stops speaking because his lips become zipped up..."

Neji's eyes widened as his lips suddenly closed together and didn't open again. Muted sounds came from his throat, but the sounds were trapped there. His eyes narrowed and his hands prepared to form a silent Jutsu. Then his hands separated and twisted in the sleeves of his shirt. Glowing chakra threads were connected to different parts of his body and they were coming from the right hand of Scarlet.

"Oh did we forget to mention that? Yeah, she has that Puppet Master Jutsu," Dreamer remarked casually. "We have many surprises about us that you will discover…in time."

"Why are you wearing a glove on your right hand?" Kakashi inquired suddenly.

Dreamer lifted said arm and looked at it as one might look at a bug. "This? Oh, it's nothing. Just a memento to the great musician Michael Jackson." Then her face took a dark tint to it as she turned her gaze to the others. "Or is it? Guess that's for me to know and you to find out."

"Boring!" Scarlet yawned and used her Puppet Master Jutsu on Neji to make him act like a duck followed by other funny scenarios. "Who cares about why she's wearing that glove? Let's do something fun already!"

Naruto pondered for a moment. "Well, there are other people who'd be fun to use your powers on. There's always Bushy Brows and Gai, and then there's that dumb Ino-pig. And of course Jiraiya is always fun to pull pranks on. Yup. In Konoha, the possibilities are endless."

"We know," Dreamer said, flexing her grip on her notebook. "We have already terrorized many of the villagers. In fact, someone should be running by in the next few seconds with a man sized cigarette chasing them." She giggled. "That should teach them to blow smoke in my face."

Seconds later, an old man came running by with a cigarette chasing him. Sparks flew in Neji's beautiful hair and muted screams came from his throat as the sparks caught flame.

"Things are about to get rather interesting," Scarlet said with a smirk as she made Neji stand on the very tip of his toes.

Sakura was leaning against the railing of her balcony, looking glum as usual ever since she discovered that Naruto failed to bring Sasuke back. Tsunade had granted her a break from medical training for today since she was busy hunting down those two new troublemakers to order them to undo their 'remodeling' of her. Sakura didn't mind so long as those girls stayed away from her and her friends and didn't threaten the village. They had enough problems as it was.

She sighed. If only she didn't have to be alone…

"Hey! Sakura!" Naruto called from the street below. "Look who we found!"

Sakura turned her emerald gaze down. Naruto was there with Kakashi, two unknown female figures, and a strange-acting Neji. As soon as she saw the notepads in the girls' arms, she knew who they were and why Neji was acting so strange. It was them…the ones with the power of the Author. They had finally made contact with people she knew.

"C'mon, Sakura! They're going to play around with the villagers for our entertainment!" Naruto shouted excitedly.

"Naruto, don't you know how dangerous those two are? You should get away from them while you still have the chance!" Sakura warned.

"Oh come now! We're not that bad," Dreamer claimed. "Only to those we don't like do we turn dangerous. And we like you! Or at least, I do. Scar here has a slightly different opinion." Dreamer quickly tore away the page that Scarlet had been scribbling on and turned it to ash. "No, Scar. No doing bad things to Naruto's friend. We discussed this already. Bad Scar. Bad."

Scarlet sighed and stuck her pencil behind her ear. "You're right. I can't hurt Sakura. She did heal my leg one time when I accidently broke it as I made my escape from a mob of angry villagers. Neji, you haven't done anything in awhile." She smiled. "Sakura, watch this."  
Neji bent his knees and jumped onto the balcony. His hand waved, but his face was that of a frustrated person. Sakura knew that if he could find a way out of Scarlet's Jutsu, he would be exacting his revenge on the two girls.

_Or he'd at least try,_ Sakura thought with a frown. _Those two are powerful and fast…if he even made the slightest move to attack them, he'd be faced with the power of the Author just as fast as those two can scrawl down a few words. Look at Lady Tsunade; she was rendered powerless against them…what can a mere Genin do to stop these two if a Sanin doesn't stand a chance?_

Neji blew his cheeks out and Sakura heard two hums come from his throat. If she understood him correctly, he was asking for her to help him. But she knew she couldn't.

Neji's eyes narrowed as he straightened, his light eyes burning into the very soul of Sakura. With a slight movement of the hand, the chakra threads pulled him into a back flip off the balcony. Sakura leaned forward and watched him fall to the ground head first. At the last second, Scarlet pulled him into a roll that saved him from a grisly end.

_It's stunts like that that earned them the honor of being called dangerous,_ Sakura thought worriedly.

"So, do you want to come with us or not?" Dreamer asked.

"…I…I don't think…" Sakura stammered.

"Oh come on! Stop being a mope-y little baby and have some fun! Break some rules and have some laughs! Live a little! That's how we survive!" Scarlet shouted, making a jerking movement with her hand.

Sakura realized then that the girl had attached chakra threads to her. She was tugged from her place on the balcony and was heading straight for the ground. She screamed her head off and would have covered her face with her arms if she had control of her body. Scarlet made another movement with her hand, forcing Sakura into a flip that made her land on her feet just like she had done with Neji moments earlier. The pink-haired kunoichi let out a heavy sigh of relief as her heart continued to race in fear.

"You're such a wuss," Scarlet grumbled as she released the Genin from her chakra threads.

"Well, now that you're down here, it only makes sense that you come along with us. We've gotta get the rest of the gang, after all, before we can even think about causing havoc," Dreamer said casually. "We've gotta have someone there to cover for us or else do you know how much trouble we'd be in?"

"So much that you wouldn't be seeing the light of day for the next eighty years," Kakashi replied.

"Someone's been listening to Tsunade rant about us while she and Shizune were trying on kimonos in that shop," Scarlet remarked, causing the Jonin to become slightly flustered. "And don't think I don't know that you're blushing a beautiful shade of rouge under that mysterious mask of yours. You see, there's little we of the Author technique do not know."

"But enough about us, we've got to round up the final member of this little group," Dreamer commented, flipping through her notebook. "If memory serves me right, our next addition will still be at training ground fourteen, attempting to beat his all time record of eighteen hundred kicks by at least twelve. He should be up to seven hundred eighty-nine by now, so he probably won't mind if we interrupt him. What won't he do for a pretty face like Sakura's?"

Sakura blushed. "I..."

"Don't think we should use you to exploit Lee," Scarlet read off a piece of paper. "Yes, we know. But technically, it's not exploitation because Gai is going to order Lee to help us anyway. It appears that if we have Kakashi here, Gai is going to think that one of us is dating him – maybe even both of us – and that will strike up the rivalry in him. He'll want to prove that he's just as good as Kakashi and then he'll go out of his way to prove that he's better. And he'll do anything we ask him to do just to prove that he's better than his rival."

Dreamer pouted. "I don't think I like the idea of Gai looking at me that way."

"No one likes him looking at them that way…or at all," Scarlet remarked. "But it's the consequence we have to face in order to gather our last member."

"So what are we waiting for? Let's go!" Naruto exclaimed.

_Eight hundred twelve…Eight hundred thirteen…Eight hundred fourteen…,_ Rock Lee counted as he proceeded to kick the crap out of a poor defenseless tree. The poor thing had taken so much of a beating that it wouldn't be too much longer before it fell down. _Almost…halfway there._

"Keep up the good work, Lee!" Gai encouraged as he watched his favorite Genin hurt nature.

"Yes, sensei!" Rock Lee shouted in response and kicked the tree again…repeatedly.

"Don't you think this is a bit cruel, Gai-sensei? He already trains enough as it is. This is madness. Tell him to take a break before he hurts himself," Tenten said, concerned about her comrade and the tree he was attacking…well, more about her comrade. "He's still recovering from his surgery. He shouldn't be working this hard."

"I can't stop him from being who he is, Tenten. If he wants to let his youth shine, then who am I to spoil his dream?" Gai asked rhetorically in his usual creepy manner.

Neji came walking up and Gai took notice of him in passing.

"Ah, Neji, back for more training, I see," Gai commented. "Next to Lee, you are probably one of the most dedicated Genin in the whole Village."

Neji stared at him blankly, not moving a muscle. Gai waited a full minute before looking back at the boy.

"Come now Neji, don't you have something to say?" Gai asked. "You could at least get back to training."

Neji didn't move.

"Neji?" Tenten asked, pushing herself up from her spot on the ground. "Are you okay?"

Neji lifted his hand and wiggled his fingers. He started twirling in the air like a magical ballerina. Gai and Tenten stared at him in surprise. Lee stopped kicking the tree and watched his squad member do something he had never done before. The tree finally gave up and fell over, unnoticed by the people watching their friend do something out of the norm.

Naruto's laugh erupted out of nowhere and the boy fell out of a tree nearby. "He's dancing again! I love it!"

Scarlet appeared out of nowhere, her hands moving as she conducted Neji's dance with her chakra threads. Dreamer stood by her, notebook in hand, waiting for something to do. Kakashi stood a little behind them with Sakura, still reading his book.

"Hello Gai," Scarlet said, making Neji take a small bow at the end of his dance. "Lee, Pompom Head, hello to you too."

"Oh, great!" Tenten groaned. "It's those two."

"Who?" Rock Lee inquired, looking curiously at his teammate.

"The kunoichi with the power of the Author, Dreamer and Scarlet. They've been harassing the village ever since they showed up in Konoha," Tenten informed him.

"Harassing is such a strong word. We prefer the term 'making life difficult all the time,'" Dreamer put in.

"It is a pleasure to finally meet you and your companion," Gai stated, taking Dreamer's hand and, much to her dismay, kissing it.

"AAAAHHHH! MY HAND'S BEEN POISONED!" Dreamer screamed, holding her hand out like it had the plague. "I'M GOING TO GET SOME HORRIBLE DISEASE NOW THAT'LL KILL ME AND THEN I'LL DIE AND THEN I'LL BE DEAD! SOMEONE GET ME SOME HAND SANITIZER BEFORE I HAVE TO CUT IT OFF!"

"Calm down, Dreamer," Scarlet said as Kakashi kindly provided a bottle of hand sanitizer to the panicky girl.

Dreamer dropped her notepad and pencil and vigorously used the whole bottle of hand sanitizer on the hand that Gai had kissed, not even caring about how upset her comments had made Gai. Naruto picked up her discarded items. Then an idea hit him, and he wrote down something on the paper that he thought might happen. In anticipation, he glanced at all the females around only to be disappointed when he found they were still all clothed. He was then taken by surprise when Scarlet used her notepad to make his pants fall down and everyone started laughing at him. He turned red, dropped Dreamer's things, and quickly covered his bottom half up.

"Never, _never _touch our notepads," Scarlet ordered, scratching out the action that she had written. "They are sacred and only work for the ones blessed with the technique of the Author. You can't simply write something down on a notepad and expect for it to happen. You have to have the Author kekkei genkai and you would have known about it many years ago, had you the ability, but you don't. So don't touch our things."  
"How dare you insult Gai like that Dreamer!" Lee exclaimed, jumping in to defend his sensei. "He does not have diseases that will kill you. He is the greatest, healthiest man on this planet. Do not forget it!"

"Okay, cool your britches down," Scarlet said, turning her lavender gaze on Lee. "We know that Gai doesn't really have diseases…Dreamer just has a strong dislike for all things Gai. I, on the other hand, rarely find anything disturbing about a person."

"Except for Ino's anorexia issue," Dreamer pointed out.

"Yes, that bugs me." Scarlet shuddered. "And that stupid long clump of hair she has jutting out of the front of her head…why the hell would someone wear their hair like that? Her stupid father does it too…Now that man freaks me out…"

"So what brings you to this place?" Tenten wanted to know.

"We want to enlist the help of Rock Lee for a special…uh…assignment that Dreamer and Scarlet have," Sakura replied as nonchalantly as she possibly could, though it was a half-truth.

Rock Lee's eyes brightened. "Really? Me?"

"What kind of 'special assignment'?" Tenten was not as clueless as she looked to be.

"The kind that's classified under None of Your Business," Scarlet stated bluntly.

"I'm not so sure…," Gai murmured.

As if on cue, Kakashi bent to retrieve Dreamer's still-discarded notepad and pencil and handed them to her. She smiled super-sweetly at him as she took those things.

"Thank you so very much, Kakashi-kun, for everything. You know, getting these back…and the hand sanitizer…and for what we did earlier today when we were alone," Dreamer purred, staring into his eye with her crimson ones like a lovesick girl.

"Uh…You're welcome," Kakashi said, glad his mask prevented the others from seeing the color his face had turned. "But I really don't know what you're talking about…We didn't do anything earlier today…"

"Oh, that's right. That was you and Scar when you disappeared into that closet," Dreamer muttered. "I guess I just imagined the thing between us." She sighed. "I'm sorry that…I'll never be as cool as Scar…I'm just a big failure that will never know what it means to be loved."

Kakashi awkwardly patted the drama-Dreamer on the back. "Don't say that. There are still plenty of other guys in the world. Surely this little failure doesn't mean it's the end of the world for you."

"But it is, Kakashi-kun!" Dreamer cried. "There's no other guy in this world that's as sexy and strong and skilled as you! If I can't have you or someone just like you, then I'd rather die a wrinkly old virgin hag like Tsunade!"

"Back off, girl!" Scarlet said, taking up the reigns. She hooked her arm with Kakashi. "He's mine because he's number one…and we've done things…that little children shouldn't be finding out about…Find someone else, Dreamer. Kakashi and I, we're in love."

"We are?" Kakashi asked, looking at her.

"We are."

Gai was getting more and more furious as he listened to this. He reached out and took hold on Dreamer's hand, looking down at her with a serious expression.

"Dear Dreamer, do not let them talk down to you this way. Do not let them treat you as if you do not matter," Gai said, speaking from the heart of his rivalry with Kakashi and part of his own heart. "You are a special girl, gifted by the gods with your wonderful powers of the Author. You are so full of youth that you hold more beauty than Scarlet." He glanced at Scarlet. "Not that she isn't a beautiful creature in her own rights, but you…you are something different. Something special. To be cherished. I know hundreds of men who would want to go on a single date with you and dream of countless more after the fact. Please, do not waste your youth crying for a man who could not love you, but come to me where your youth would flourish. Dreamer, come with me."

Dreamer stared up at him and then looked down at her hand, clasped tightly in one his hands. She was kind of expecting him to start singing at any moment or even worse – ask her to marry him. Her eyes darted to Scarlet, making sure that the girl wasn't writing something that horrible on her notepad. If she had, Dreamer would make the point to kill her friend, but she hadn't, so Dreamer left her alone.

"Aw…isn't that sweet," Scarlet crooned with a smile as she leaned against Kakashi. "Young love…And I'm talking young. Dreamer is seventeen and Gai is twenty-six…nine years difference…we're talking illegal here…"

"And what about us?" Kakashi asked, gesturing at him and her.

"Well, I'm nineteen," Scarlet said with a smile. "So, illegal is not a concern anymore. Except with killing villagers…that's illegal…but love between us is not illegal, so we can do whatever we want." She smiled. "Why? Do you want to do something?"

Kakashi quickly shook his head. "No, no. That can wait until later when we don't have something important to do.

"Uh…Thanks for your kindness, Gai-kun," Dreamer said hesitantly. "I…I'll think about it. But for now, I have something very important to do with these guys, and…I can't do it without the assistance of Rock Lee. So…could we please borrow him for the day?"

"Of course you can, my precious Dreamer!" Gai exclaimed, still holding onto her hand. "Lee! Go with this girl and do whatever she bids! Make her happy in my stead, no matter what! Make me proud, kid!"

"Yes, Gai-sensei!" Rock Lee shouted in response, saluting his sensei before running over to Dreamer's side.

Tenten rolled her eyes. _Those two…are such idiots to have fallen for such an act._

"We have to go now, Dreamer," Scarlet stated as she yanked on her chakra threads to make Neji do a beautiful leap in the air when she and the others began to walk away.

"Will I see you later?" Gai asked Dreamer.

"We'll see," was Dreamer's vague reply as she finally managed to get her hand back. "This is goodbye for now."

And she went on her way with the others while Gai watched her go with lust in his eyes. Tenten rolled her eyes again ._I'd better follow them just to make sure they don't cause too much trouble._

"I feel so dirty now!" Dreamer whined as she used another whole thing of hand sanitizer to rid herself of Gai's touch. Unfortunately, it did nothing to get rid of the sick feeling she got from having him look at her. She shuddered in remembrance of it.

"But you did a good thing," Scarlet pointed out, gesturing at Lee. "You convinced Gai to let us borrow Lee for awhile and he was the final person we need to go through with our plan."

"Your plan?" Sakura was not sure she liked the sound of that.

"Yes, our plan," Dreamer said, throwing the empty bottle of hand sanitizer at Neji. "But we can't speak of that right now because we're being spied on by Pompom Head."

"Tenten…" Naruto's eyes narrowed. "Tenten, get the hell out of here before I throw your sorry ass back to Gai's training ground!"

No one moved.

Scarlet sighed and pulled her pencil out from behind her ear. "Fine…we'll do this the hard way Pompom Head." She scribbled something down on the paper and the scenery around them wavered and changed. "Right now, she's in the area we were, being chased by giant killer bees. They're talking to her too…that should teach her to never follow us again. But at least, we're a little closer to where we need to be."

"So what is this plan?" Rock Lee asked, though he was a little upset that Dreamer had pulled his sensei's strings for the sole purpose of getting the man to let his star pupil come with them.

Scarlet grinned evilly. "It'll be the biggest prank this village has ever seen! Paint everywhere, disfigurement to every fake person, animals taking revenge on those that eat them too frequently…The works!"

"Awesome! I love it!" Naruto exclaimed.

His comrades were not so enthusiastic.

"…Couldn't you do that on your own with your power of the Author?" Sakura pointed out.

"We could," Scarlet agreed. "But then who would we share our glory with?"

"You mean, who would you share your punishment with?" Rock Lee corrected.

Scarlet pointedly ignored him. "It'll be fun for all of us, I promise. And we need you and your skills for this. We need someone who's fast, someone who's smart, someone who's skilled, and someone who's stupid enough to get Tsunade's attention while we do our work. Do you know anyone who can fill those spots?"

"Gai-sensei is fast," Rock Lee muttered.

"Shikamaru is smart," Sakura grumbled.

"I'm skilled!" Naruto remarked.

"Jiraiya is stupid enough to get Tsunade's attention…what with his habit of peeping into the girls' bathhouses all the time," Kakashi put in.

Dreamer groaned. "You're all wrong! Rock Lee, you're the fastest person in all of Konoha that we can stand! Sakura, you're the smartest hands-down! Kakashi, you're the most skilled ninja that wouldn't mind hanging out with us troublemakers! And Naruto, you're stupid enough to get Tsunade on your tail while we put everything in place for our plan! Kami, do you all have rocks in your head or something?"

Sakura crossed her arms. "No, we don't. We just don't want to be a part of your scheme."

"Agreed," Rock Lee concurred.

"Well too bad," Scarlet stated as she scribbled something down on her notepad. "Rock Lee, Sakura, and Kakashi lose control of their bodies. The only people that can reverse it are their commanders, Scarlet and Dreamer…"

Before any of them could make a move, they found themselves unable to do anything. The only thing Rock Lee, Sakura, and Kakashi could move was their eyes, which were focused angrily on the woman that had rendered them immobile.

"…What…What did you do that for?" Naruto demanded, shocked.

"They were being disobedient, so I tamed them," Scarlet replied, making Neji start break-dancing just for the fun of it.

"But that's…That's just not right! If you don't free them right now, I'm not going to help you!" Naruto shouted.

"I could always do the same thing to you," Scarlet threatened. "So unless you want to end up like your friends, I suggest you keep your mouth shut."

Naruto hesitated and glanced over at his immobile comrades. It would be cowardly of him to think of himself and not them…

Scarlet suddenly found herself on the ground with her notepad and pulled right out of her grasp. Dreamer had scribbled something down on her own notepad that had affected her fellow Author wielder. Neji was freed from Scarlet's Puppet Master Jutsu for now, as the former Branch member was unable to move anything from her place on the ground. Her items flew into the arm of Dreamer, who took the pages that her companion had recently written on and burned them up in her hand. This freed the others from their immobility.

Scarlet's lavender eyes narrowed. "What have you done?"

Dreamer shrugged, keeping her cool. "I just wrote down something like I've been doing for years. This time, what I wrote just happened to say, 'Scarlet suddenly lost her balance and fell to the ground. She tried to get up only to find that she was unable to move. Her writing utensils landed in the arms of Dreamer to do with as she wished.' Sorry, Scarlet. It's nothing personal. You just broke the rules."

"And what rule have I broke?" Scarlet demanded.

"Have you really already forgotten?" Dreamer asked. She sighed. "We discussed this all before we came to Konoha. We established rules that we were never supposed to break, and one of those rules was to never use the powers of the Author to take control of anyone. You just broke that rule when you stopped these three from being able to control themselves. I had to intervene."

Scarlet groaned and would have slapped her forehead if she was able to move. "It must have slipped my mind…Oops…Hehe…My bad. I promise not to do it again. So can you please let me up now?"

"Yes." Dreamer ripped out her piece of paper and burnt it to ashes. "Just don't break another rule or I'll be forced to punish you again. And you know that I don't like doing that."

Scarlet flipped to her feet and collected her things from Dreamer's hands. She turned to see Neji activating his Byakugan, readying a Jutsu to unleash upon her. Scarlet smirked and knocked a blade of grass off her shoulder, lowering her gaze from him. Dreamer stepped back and motioned for the others – now completely free of Scarlet's control – to do the same. Neji vanished completely in a whirl of air.

"She's toast," Naruto claimed, putting his hands behind his neck. "No one can beat Destiny Boy when he's got that stupid eye thing going on."

"Have you so easily forgotten a crucial piece of info?" Dreamer asked, never taking her eyes off her friend who had grown unusually still.

"Hmm?"

"Never mind."

Neji appeared out of nowhere, ready to attack Scarlet with his Gentle Fist technique. She didn't move out of the way, made no attempt to defend herself, but there was no time to do either. Neji's hand came at her and barely touched her before she turned her head and smirked at him. He was confused when he landed on his back with a red mark on the side of his face. Scarlet's braid swung gently behind her back as she turned to face Neji.

"Did you honestly believe you could attack me, Neji-san?" Scarlet asked, playing with her braid.

"…What just happened?" Sakura wanted to know, just as confused as the others.

"She…must have hit him with something in her braid," Rock Lee concluded. "But in order to have done so, she would have done it faster than the eye could see. Is…Is that possible?"

Dreamer nodded. "We are elite ninja. Anything's possible. And you're right, Lee. Scar does have something in her braid. A metallic sphere-shaped something that can really hurt someone if she swings it the right way. Swinging it the wrong way can also make someone end up having their skull crushed with their brains oozing out all over the place. But it appears that Scar just decided to hurt Neji. Lucky him."

Neji was back on his feet in almost no time with that red mark on his face next to forgotten. Scarlet gave him an odd glance, surprised that he might be stupid enough to charge at her again after the result of his first attempt. The boy was not that stupid; he learned quickly from his failures. He gathered his chakra in preparation, and then he jerked his hand in Scarlet's direction. He had used the Air Palm, an attack that only those of the Hyuuga could use since it was related to the Gentle Fist Technique.

Scarlet vanished; dodging it a split second before Neji could administer the Air Palm. She appeared behind him, knocking him aside with a swing of her braid, spikes appearing out of the end of it which connected with his face, leaving bloody marks in their wake. Then she summoned chakra to one of her hands and used Air Palm on him, sending him careening into a tree with such force that it broke in half.

"Neji-san," Scarlet purred, turning to face him. "If you think you can attack me, you are wrong. I'm more advanced in my training than you are. I have the power of the Author and therefore, you can't touch me." She held up the end of her braid. "And you're lucky I removed the poison from the spikes before our little dispute or you would be dead by now. It's a shame, but I prefer knowing that I can harass you any time I want to."

Neji ground his teeth together and wiped away the blood that dribbled out of the corner of his mouth. "The Main Branch will be made aware of your crimes against me, a fellow Hyuuga."

"None of the Branches cares what she does anymore," Dreamer told him. "They disowned her, remember? She refused to use her powers to aid the Branch become the Main household and constantly harassed members of both Branches with her ability. They didn't like that, so they threw her out on the street. We were both disowned from our clans and together we search the world for a place to fit in. Even if that means leaving Konoha for good."

Scarlet jerked her hand back and Neji was pulled to his feet, chakra strands now connecting him to Scarlet's hand once more. Naruto looked upset.

"You can't leave! Konoha is your home! We are friends and friends don't let other friends leave their home because they care! I care! Everyone here cares about you!" Naruto declared. "Who cares if your clans disowned you? They couldn't have been great people if they disowned you in the first place. I don't have a clan, so we could form our own clan. A better one than any in Konoha! Better than the Uchiha and Hyuuga clans combined!"

At this, Dreamer smiled. "That's a nice preposition, Naruto. I think I'd like that…someday when our adventures reach an end. But there are still many places that we must visit before we can even think about settling down anywhere." She glanced out of the corner of her eye at Sakura, Rock Lee, and Kakashi. "So…will you help us out with our plan?"

"I will," Naruto stated immediately.

"And I guess someone has to watch you so you guys don't cause too much trouble," Kakashi murmured. "So that means I will…I suppose."

"I'm still not sure I want to participate in a prank on the village," Sakura said hesitantly.

"Me, neither," Rock Lee agreed.

"Then you suck and are just a bunch of losers we overestimated of having the balls to help us out," Scarlet growled.

"Scarlet!" Dreamer reprimanded, causing the older girl to look away. "Sakura. Rock Lee. I can see why you hesitate. My companion and I…we haven't been the best company since our arrival. But I promise you one thing. This 'prank' we're going to pull is not going to be a bad one that will make the villagers come after us. It will be something worth helping set up and worth seeing. And it will be for the best. You have my word."

"…And her word's worth a hundred times more than mine," Scarlet muttered with crossed arms.

Dreamer beamed. "So…what do you say?"

Sakura and Rock Lee exchanged glances.

"…All right. We're in," Sakura sighed finally.

Scarlet smirked. "Good. Now we can set things into motion."

The plan was decided with brilliancy that only this group could come up with. Dreamer had pulled out a map of Konoha and discussed strategy with Sakura and Kakashi, for there were several things that needed the best possible placement. Rock Lee watched silently, as he needed to know these places to put the things at. Scarlet personally instructed Naruto on how to go about getting Tsunade's undivided attention, even introducing him to insults the boy would have never thought of using against the old lady that was his Hokage. He just hoped that this so-called prank would be all that Dreamer promised. Otherwise, he was dead…or worse.

The things that needed proper placement were wooden crates sealed with paper seals. They weighed next to nothing, but clearly there was something in them. Dreamer and Scarlet refused to reveal just what, though, because they didn't want to ruin the surprise. This did nothing to quell the suspicions of their companions, but everyone was too curious to be too concerned about what might happen.

So there they were, standing on the roof of a building, waiting to put their plan into action.

"Tsunade is coming this way," Scarlet informed them as she handed a box to Rock Lee while making Neji tap-dance with her free hand. "Naruto, you'd better head down there now and prepare to do what I told you. Kakashi, you're fast like Lee. You can help him place these boxes where they need to go. Sakura, you help me and Dreamer hand these off to the runners. Once they're all in place, Dreamer and I can break the seals from here. We've got one shot at this; don't any of you screw this up."

Naruto crouched down, looking around for any sign of Tsunade's usual body guard. He saw none and smirked. _This is going to be fun…_

"All right, does everyone know what their role is?" Scarlet asked, looking around. Everyone nodded. "Good. Now…go!"

Kakashi and Lee darted away, carrying the boxes towards the designated destinations. Naruto leapt from one building to another until he was close enough for Tsunade to hear him, but far enough to avoid her attacks.

"Hey Virgin Hag!" Naruto called, waving. "How does it feel to be an eighty year old virgin?"  
A nerve throbbed in Tsunade's forehead. "Are you talking to me, Naruto?"

"Do you see any other virgin hags, Oh Queen of Virgin Hags?" He laughed. "No one wants a hag like you…You're going to be lonely forever and have I mentioned how broke you are? You're lame when it comes to gambling. You'll make Konoha broke before you know it!"

Tsunade's eyes narrowed and she cracked her knuckles. "Naruto, that's enough!"

"Nope! I could keep this going for ages!" Naruto called back, putting his hands casually behind his neck. "You're fake in certain areas and everyone knows it! Everyone knows that everything about you is an illusion! You're really an old, saggy, dried up prune of a ninja! Talk about disgusting! That's you without your illusion!"

Tsunade's teeth ground together and charged at Naruto. "You are dead Uzamaki!"

Naruto smirked and vanished. "Virgin Hag! Virgin Hag! Hide your face with a bag before I gag!"

Scarlet smiled as she watched Naruto run away from Tsunade, leading her far away from areas where the group was working. He was doing very well in keeping Tsunade distracted with insults that she had taught him and that impressed her. For a ninja of his mentality, he was doing very well in keeping distance between him and the hag and keeping her engaged in attempting to kill him. It was very amusing to watch, but she had a job to do and she couldn't let Dreamer down.

"Next box," Dreamer said, breaking into Scarlet's train of thought. "Scar, next box!"

Scarlet jumped and passed the box along. "Sorry, Dreamer."

Dreamer gave her a look before passing the box off to Kakashi as he returned for it. Lee was seen approaching in a blur of green. Scarlet picked up another box and made sure the paper seal was secure before passing it off to the Genin.

"Two more boxes boys and then everything will be ready for the prank," Dreamer told the two runners. "We'll wait for you to come back before we release the seals with this box." She gestured at a black box with a strange looking seal on it. "And then the surprise will be unleashed upon the Village."

The runners nodded before taking off for the final time. Sakura glanced hesitantly from the black box to the other girls then towards Naruto. She couldn't exactly see him, but she could hear his insults and Tsunade's angry responses to them. This prank had better be quick, or else Naruto was definitely going to die. And it had better be a good kind of prank, too, or Naruto was still going to die.

"Don't worry, Sakura," Dreamer said, placing a gentle hand on the pink-haired kunoichi's shoulder and breaking her train of thought. "Everything is going to be all right."

Hearing Dreamer say it and not Scarlet reassured Sakura in a way she didn't understand. The purple-haired girl was the younger of the friends, and yet she was much more mature than her companion Scarlet. She seemed to be the adult of their company. And whereas Scarlet's entire life and techniques were practically common knowledge now, hardly anything was known about Dreamer's life and techniques besides the powers of the Author. Who was Dreamer? And why did she carry a calm air around her that infected those around her?

It didn't take long for Kakashi and Rock Lee to return with their speed. With their return, it was time to break the seals on the boxes.

Both Scarlet and Dreamer touched the black box and utilized their chakra networks. Their chakra made the obsidian box glow and the seal to sizzle. Their companions kept their distance in case the thing exploded. An unnecessary precaution, as it turned out. The seal broke and allowed the black cube to open, spewing out a bunch of little paper slips. This same thing happened to all of the other boxes that had been strategically placed for effectiveness.

Kakashi caught one of these slips and read what was written there. "Everything returned to the way it had been in Konoha before the meddling of Dreamer and Scarlet began."

"Do they all say this?" Sakura asked as she also read one of the strips.

Scarlet nodded as she made Neji stand on his head and used his folded legs as a seat.

"So…this was your plan all along? To irritate the villagers and then make everything better?" Rock Lee inquired with a raised bushy eyebrow.

Again, Scarlet nodded.

Sakura shook her head. "You two really are so very strange."

"We never said we weren't," Dreamer put in with a smile. "But you love us for it."

All around Konoha, the tortured were being freed from their suffering caused by those with the powers of the Author. Tenten was no longer forced to run from giant talking killer bees. Ino was no longer going around in the guise of a pig being chased by Choji. Shikamaru was freed from being a cloud. Hinata was not invisibly stalking Naruto any longer, and quickly ran off before the blonde boy could spot her. Kiba was not a dog and Akamaru was not a human. Shino was not a bug in danger of being some other insect's lunch or being squashed by some careless person. Asuma was no longer a cigarette being puffed by some moron who had found him on the ground. Kurenai was no longer stuck in a realm of just genjutsu where everything was just an illusion no matter how real it seemed. Jiraiya was no longer stuck inside the cover of the lamest book ever-Twilight-and was free to peep into the bathhouses as much as he wished.

And, more importantly, Tsunade was no longer deformed by the work of Scarlet.

The Hokage barely noticed the change to her physique, so caught up in her anger against Naruto that she couldn't have had her mind go anywhere else. The boy found that he had run into a dead end and gulped in fear as he turned to face the enraged woman. It was only when she went to punch him that the change became known to her. She looked at the smoothness of her skin, the firmness of her body, the youth of her as a whole that she had been unable to conjure thanks to those troublemakers with the Author powers. Seeing herself as she preferred to be made her glance up to see the flying pieces of paper with words scribbled on them. Her eyes looked at the other villagers that had been victimized only to find they had been healed just as she had. Perhaps those kids weren't as bad as she thought. Tsunade smiled.

"You were in league with them, weren't you?" she asked, glancing over at Naruto.

"…Y-Yes, Tsunade," Naruto stammered nervously.

Tsunade grinned warmly at him. "You're off the hook, kid. But if you ever insult me like that again, there will be some serious hell to pay. Understood?"

"Very much so," Naruto said before taking off. "Bye, Granny!"

Tsunade turned around again and was not surprised to find Dreamer and Scarlet standing there.

"…There's something I need to talk with you two about," Tsunade stated. "It involves a failed mission…and Sasuke Uchiha."

**A/N: So, what did you think? Review us and we'll get working on the second and third chapters of this story. What do you say?**


	2. Chapter 2

Tsunade sat behind her desk with her hands folded, resting her chin upon them as she looked at the girls seated before her. Dreamer had kindly taken the chair offered to her while Scarlet had chosen to float in mid-air with the aid of her Author abilities. They were not the only ones there. Jiraiya had been invited to this discussion, and Shizune was there as always. She was sure there were a few people outside her door trying to eavesdrop, but that was of little importance. What really mattered was the mission Tsunade wanted to send these girls on.

"I'm sure you know about what happened to Uchiha Sasuke earlier this year," Tsunade began. "He deserted the village because Orochimaru lured him to the Sound with his promise of power. I sent a group of five ninja-all Genin save one Chuunin leader-to retrieve him, but they failed due to Sasuke's escort of the Sound Five. They all survived, luckily, and managed to kill their opponents with some help from three Sand ninja. Sasuke was thought lost to us…until now."

Dreamer raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean, until now?"

"You want us to go after him, don't you?" Scarlet asked, though it was more of a statement.

"Yes. I want you to penetrate the Sound village and find Sasuke. Do whatever is necessary to bring him back, even if it puts him within an inch of his life. If anyone can retrieve him from the snake's nest, it's you two. There's no limit to your powers, and you have jutsu at your disposal that we haven't seen yet. I put my complete trust in you," Tsunade said.

"Yeah, and if your powers fail I'm sure Orochimaru will let you girls in. He is such a pervert," Jiraiya put in.

"No, Jiraiya. That's you," Tsunade muttered.

"Not true. We both are. The only difference is that I'm open about my perverted-ness while Orochimaru is a closet perv," Jiraiya claimed.

Scarlet's eyes lit up a little. "Well, that's a side of him that I haven't yet seen. He always treated me just the same as every other one of his puppets. A slightly more respected, powerful puppet, but still…"

"Scarlet, have you already been to Orochimaru's stronghold?" Tsunade asked.

"I was there," Scarlet said with a little smirk. "I know the whole layout and where they keep your precious little Uchiha. Of course, Orochimaru was reluctant to let me leave, so getting me back may be harder than what anyone thinks."

"I had to rescue her from Orochimaru," Dreamer commented with a frown. "He won't like having us back in his castle and he'll know we're up to something if we go there. He doesn't like surprises…or me."

"Are you saying that this mission is too hard for you to accomplish?" Jiraiya questioned, crossing his arms. "The all powerful elite Jonin with the power of the Author, can't get into Orochimaru's stronghold and rescue a mere boy from the snake's hands? Maybe you're not all that you claim you are."

Dreamer's hand clenched on the arm of the chair she was sitting on and her hand seemed to glow underneath the glove she wore. "We can do this, but it will be difficult. This will take some major planning and some advanced Author Jutsu. But this is not beyond our capabilities, Jiraiya."

Scarlet dropped to her feet and poked him in the chest. "If it was so easy, why haven't you all powerful Sanin stepped in and done something about this little boy? Is this mission beyond your capabilities?" She smirked. "Or do you still harbor feelings for the one who used to be your teammate? Does part of your heart still consider Orochimaru _friend_?"

Jiraiya shook his head. "Never."

Scarlet gave him a knowing look and turned her back on him. Dreamer lifted her hand off the chair, instantly losing the glowing in her glove. She climbed to her feet and placed her hands on the desk.

"We'll do this mission and then, once you have your precious Emo potato, we'll talk about what we want in return," she stated before turning her back on the room. "Come on Scarlet."

Scarlet gave the room a final look before walking out after her companion. Jiraiya looked at the chair that Dreamer had sat in moments before. It was completely made of stone now…

"Where did they go?" Naruto demanded, looking high and low for his new friends that seemed to have vanished into thin air after their so-called prank went into action. The others hadn't been able to find them, either. It was almost as if the girls had never been there.

_They couldn't have just disappeared! Not after all they've done! _Naruto thought as he continued his search with a few Clones this time. _They have to be in the village somewhere! Man, if they left without saying goodbye I'm going to be so pissed!_

"Hello, Naruto," a now-familiar female voice said from behind him.

He turned around and grinned his infamous grin. "Dreamer! Where have you been? We've been looking everywhere for you and Scarlet! Where is Scarlet, anyway?"

"She's off saying goodbye to Kakashi and Lee. I just came from saying farewell to Sakura myself. We were talking with Tsunade and Jiraiya and they decided to send us off on a mission," Dreamer replied, twirling a strand of her purple hair around her finger. "We'll be back in a day or so. It won't take us too long to do this."

"What, did they send you guys on a lame D-ranked mission?" Naruto asked.

Dreamer shook her head. "It's actually not ranked, but if it was it'd probably be above an A. It's really hard; they couldn't send anyone but us to go on this and come back alive. We're the only ones with the skills for this. But even then it won't take us too long…hopefully. Depends on whether or not Orochimaru got better guys to protect his home."

Naruto's eyes widened. "You guys are going to the Sound village? Why?"

"Because there's a trouble-making Emo potato there that needs to be planted elsewhere…like, say, its home. That stupid snake extended his fangs and relocated that dumb potato, and someone has to put it back in its native soil. Only Scar and I can do that," Dreamer explained.

"But it's suicide!" Naruto exclaimed.

"It's not suicide unless we write that it is," Dreamer stated. "Don't worry, Naruto. We'll get out of there alive. You have my word. And like Scar once said, my word's worth a hundred times more than hers. I don't just say things to say them. I mean everything I ever say ever because I'm Dreamer the Author. Okay?"

Naruto looked at Dreamer and frowned. "I don't like it. I don't get why you're risking your life for a stupid potato. It's crazy!"

Dreamer shook her head. "Naruto, the potato I mentioned is not really a potato."

"Then what the heck is it?" Naruto demanded.

"That's classified information Naruto. I can't tell you what Scar and I are going to retrieve." She smiled. "But you could guess."

Naruto started pacing. Thoughts raced through his head and he tried to pick out one thing that Lady Tsunade would risk two powerful Jonin for. It had to be something good. Something extremely powerful.

_I don't get why she called it 'Emo'_, Naruto thought, frowning. _She said that it was Emo and there's only one person I know who is Emo. And that's…_

Naruto's eyes went wide and he pointed at Dreamer. "You're going to rescue Sasuke!"

Dreamer nodded and held her hands up in surrender. "I know you're heartbroken that we have to bring back your competition, but there's something about him that Tsunade thinks is special enough to have her best ninja go after him. And that something is something that I don't know about. Personally, I don't see anything special about Sasuke, but then again I'm not like everyone else, so maybe my opinion doesn't count."

"You're going to bring Sasuke back?" Naruto's smile stretched from ear to ear. "That's awesome! Finally, some real competition! And I'll get to rub it in his face how close me and Sakura have become! It'll be perfect!" He punched his fist in the air. "When do we leave?"

"Whoa Naruto, slow down," Dreamer ordered, putting a hand on his shoulder. "You're not going anywhere near the Sound village. It's too dangerous for you. It's only going to be me and Scarlet. Bringing anyone else would just create a bunch of liabilities. Understand?"

Naruto looked at the ground. "No."

"Sorry, lil' bro. You're going to have to learn to understand." She put her hand under his chin and forced him to look up. She gave him a warm reassuring smile. "Don't worry, Naruto. We'll bring him back safely and we'll be fine. Trust me."

Naruto couldn't help but smile back. "All right…But if you fail I'm going to have to hurt you."

"Really? I'd like to see you try."

"Fail and you will."

The two teens grinned like silly little kids at their empty threats before bumping fists. Scarlet suddenly appeared behind them, complaining about having to leave Kakashi and what a pain it was waiting for Dreamer. The purple-haired girl bid Naruto adieu as she went to join her companion. Naruto watched them disappear into the sunset with a flame of hope renewed within him. There was a chance that Sasuke would be back. Dreamer and Scarlet were the best chance they would ever have of getting Sasuke back.

_They'll succeed. I know they will, _Naruto thought.

Scarlet landed on a branch just outside of the Sound village and glanced at Dreamer as the purple-haired girl landed next to her. She held her breath when she saw a guard look in their direction, but let it out when it appeared that he hadn't noticed them.

_Idiot_, Scarlet thought before withdrawing a pencil. _I've got to take care of the guards before we can even get close enough to have a chance of getting into Orochimaru's lair._

"You don't suppose he'd mind if we did this the easy way?" Dreamer asked. "I want to get in, grab Sasuke, and get out before Old Pervert Snake finds out we're here."

"You leave Old Pervert Snake to me," Scarlet said, writing something on a piece of paper. "Unlike you, I have a tolerance for power-hungry, old perverts. Now, let's see if the Akatsuki are enough for the guards to be distracted. Sasuke, he should be asleep right about…now."

She made a dot for the period and a great wind whipped around them. The Akatsuki appeared beyond the trees, instantly gaining the attention of the guards. Ninja came running at them and the Akatsuki, even though they weren't sure of how they got there, leaped into action to destroy their new foe. Scarlet put the paper away and slid the pencil in a pocket, preparing to leap out of her hiding spot. Dreamer followed her as the two burst from the forest and vanished into the Sound Village.

They continued to run through the shadows until they reached Orochimaru's lair. Scarlet brushed a loose strand of hair back from her face and looked at Dreamer.

"Do you think he'd enjoy our company better if we knocked on his door before we burst in?" Scarlet asked, tilting her head to one side.

Dreamer gave her a look and punched the door open. "Get in. Distract Orochimaru. I'll get the Emo potato. Then we'll leave. Five minutes."

A group of ninja came running through the doors and Dreamer stepped back, pulling her glove off. "Six minutes."

Her right hand looked as though it was made of stone and had a huge open eye on the back of it. It was glowing eerily while her glove fell to the ground. The Sound ninja stepped back upon seeing her strange appendage, but it was too late. Once she revealed her stone hand it was always too late to run. She struck with inhuman speed, leaving statues in place of the men that had just been there. Scarlet took advantage of the action to slip away to the snake's lair.

Dreamer's left hand glowed with green chakra and she touched one of the statue's head. They were temporarily relieved of their petrified form only because she needed to know where Sasuke's room was.

"Tell me where Sasuke is," she demanded of the fear-stricken man.

He was too full of fear to not tell her that information. He spilled on everything, even going so far as to tell him what Sasuke looked like and what color underwear he was wearing. Dreamer turned him to stone again once she had the information she needed. The eye closed on her hand as she went towards the room the man had claimed Sasuke was in.

She didn't bother with manners when she came to his door. She simply drew back her fist and punched it in. It went flying across the room towards the bed Sasuke was sleeping on. He barely managed to dodge it before it and the bed shattered into pieces. He turned his crimson-Sharingan gaze to her, clearly pissed from being disturbed. Dreamer didn't care. She walked into the room without her hard expression ever changing.

"Who are you? What are you doing here?" Sasuke growled, in a defensive position.

"I am Dreamer of the Author kekkei genkai. I have been sent to capture you and return you to your village no matter what," Dreamer replied, her own crimson gaze fixated on the boy. "I would prefer to do this the easy way, but it's your call. The hard way would be fun…for me. But it would also be quite boring, like you."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "No! I will not go back to the Leaf village! I have severed my bonds with that place! I belong here where I can get power! I-!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever, you dumb monologue-ing Emo potato." Dreamer tossed a handful of shuriken at Sasuke while he was talking and nearly hit him, but he moved out of the way just in the nick of time. "Orochimaru is a liar. He wants you for your eyes and for your young body cuz he's a pervert. Your friends tried to tell you that. I guess you're too blind to see what's right in front of your face."

"I don't care! All I want-!"

"Is power," Dreamer interjected. "And that's your stupid flaw. Power this, power that, but in the end all your yearning for power will end with you destroying everything you ever cared about and might even get you killed. That's why we're here…to stop that future from coming to pass because it will mean the end of so many lives."

Sasuke's fingers flew into signs for a jutsu. "You think you know me, but you don't!"

Dreamer sidestepped his Fireball Jutsu with ease. "Wrong. I know you and what you're capable of better than you do. You're capable of a great evil if you continue on the path that you're on. The Hokage hopes to help you move past this. Your friends back in Konoha want you back because they still believe there is still some good in you. And I, well I can't let them be disappointed."

"My friends…? No, I broke my bonds to them! They don't matter anymore!" Sasuke shouted, though his eyes showed the truth.

Dreamer sighed, appearing mysteriously behind him and resting her right hand on his shoulder. "Perhaps you'll think differently once you're home. You've power inside of you, Sasuke. You don't need this pedophile Sanin. What you need is what you already had. It's not too late to get mend what is broken. Trust me. I know these things."

Sasuke tried to move away from her, but found that his legs would not work nor would his upper body. He glanced down and was shocked to find that except for his head, his whole body had turned to stone. He looked at her hand and saw in dismay that it was the cause of his petrified state for it was also stony and the eye on the top of it was opened. She pulled it away and the eye closed once more.

"Don't worry, Uchiha Sasuke. This is only temporary so you won't run away. I can make it all go away once we're back at Konoha," Dreamer assured him, slipping a spare white glove onto her right hand to conceal it. "And I won't turn the rest of you to stone unless you test my patience, so if I were you I'd keep my mouth shut."

"I deserted the village of my own free will! Why won't you let me go?" Sasuke demanded as Dreamer tied a rope across his torso so she could drag him away. "Everyone else has! They only see me as a traitor! Why don't you think the same and just leave me here?"

Dreamer paused in her work when she was in front of him and looked him squarely in the eye. "You're wrong, you dumb Emo potato. You're wrong about everything. You did not leave the village of your own will; Orochimaru lured you away. No one has let you go and you are not viewed as a traitor by anyone. To them, you are still a comrade, a friend even. Even if I left you here, they would still see you in that light. And though I care little for you, my friendship with your friends demands that I bring you back." She straightened and pulled on the rope, yanking the petrified Uchiha after her. "So come on, Emo potato. It's time to rectify your wrongs."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Scarlet danced about the main room of Orochimaru's lair, avoiding Kabuto's attacks. She laughed and slipped around Orochimaru, brushing her fingers lightly against his arm in passing. A smirk was on Orochimaru's lips as he watched her evade his 'loyal' ninja's attacks. Scarlet was just having fun torturing Kabuto.

"Kabuto, I thought you were better than this," Scarlet teased, smacking him across the face with her braid so that he flew across the room. "After all, you were so close to beating me the last time I was here. What happened? Did you run out of food and plasma pills?"

Kabuto's eyes narrowed and he pulled out senbon, throwing them at key points of Scarlet's body. Scarlet whipped out a scroll and words appeared on it. The senbon disintegrated on contact with the scroll. Scarlet giggled and whipped the scrolled around, sending thousands of pencils at Kabuto. Kabuto didn't have time to move out of the way before he was thrown against the wall and pinned with a number of pencils. Two more pencils appeared and were driven through Kabuto's hands, effectively preventing him from reaching into his pack for pills or weapons and from performing any jutsu that would have freed him.

Scarlet landed next to Orochimaru, eyeing Kabuto with a smirk. "You could never beat me, Kabuto. No one can defeat the ones with the power of the Author. So you might as well give up."

"Master," Kabuto hissed. "She is there for you to take. Seal her hands before she escapes."

"Now, why would he do that?" Scarlet asked, resting her elbow on Orochimaru's shoulder. "I'm being a good girl. And I need my hands to do things…things that you cannot possibly do, Kabuto." She looked up at Orochimaru. "So, what have you been up to Lord Orochimaru? Kill anyone important lately?"

"The Kazekage."

"I already knew about that." She sighed. "If you haven't killed anyone important, what have you been doing with your life? And don't tell me you've been wasting your time with that Uchiha potato…He's not going to amount to anything more than a dead pile of nothingness at the rate he's going."

"Your body was not in line for me to take," Orochimaru reminded her. "I had to make do with what resources were available and the Uchiha boy has Sharingan. I would think that would at least make him worthy enough to be my next body." He smirked and glanced down at her. "You may remain eternally youthful, but not all of us are as blessed as you. I cannot do all that I wish in this old body of mine."

Scarlet smiled at him. "You're a pedophile, aren't you?"

Orochimaru simply smirked but said nothing. Kabuto gave a slight nod and more ninja appeared in the room.

"Oh look, more people for me to beat up, dismember, and have fun with," Scarlet said, her eyes lighting up with happiness. "Excuse me for a moment, Orochimaru."

She darted forward, activating her Byakugan as she approached her first targets. She pounded several with the Gentle Fist technique before throwing a final Air Palm at another. Then she reverted to taijutsu and punched holes through a few ninja. None of them seemed to get the message though and she was all right with that.

She glanced at the sun through a window as she threw some ninjas into a wall and sighed. _One minute left…Now I'll never be able to thin out Orochimaru's ranks… Or…_

Scarlet jumped onto the ceiling and whipped out another scroll, writing on it quickly. A rain of sharp pencils fell from the scroll, slicing through the remaining ninja. Orochimaru was lucky enough to avoid most of the pencils, only getting hit by a few, but Scarlet couldn't think about that.

_30 seconds…_

"Bye Orochimaru!" she called, vanishing in a cloud of smoke.

She reappeared in front of the castle where Dreamer was waiting with a partially stoned Sasuke. A frown was on Dreamer's lips as Scarlet opened her arms.

"I'm here!" she sang.

"You're late," Dreamer commented, her frown growing.

"Well, since I hang out with Kakashi, some of his bad habits have rubbed off on me," Scarlet muttered before pointing at Sasuke. "I see you had to stone him. Was he being a naughty little potato again?"

Sasuke made to bite her finger, but Scarlet pounded him on the head.

"Watch it Emo potato!" she snapped. "I'll break one of your legs off and feed it to the dogs." Her eyes narrowed. "And there's going to be no mention of which leg I'm talking about. So stop being such a jerk. Or else."

Dreamer rolled her eyes and started dragging Sasuke towards the entrance. "Stop badgering the Emo, Scar. He's already depressed enough as it is. We wouldn't want to give him another reason to cut himself over…Now, help me get this potato back to Konoha, where…" She looked at Sasuke at this point. "He will stay and grow old and have children in with the rest of his friends. Do you both understand?"

Sasuke shook his head and Scarlet hit him on it.

"You got us both in trouble!" Scarlet complained, glaring at Sasuke. "Thanks…Now I'm going to be prohibited from visiting this world for a week! Thanks a lot you stupid Emo potato!"

"Scar!" Dreamer glared at her. "Help!"

Scarlet looked up to the see Sound ninja and the Akatsuki coming at them. She sighed and pulled out another scroll. "Watch how this is done Potato," she said, writing quickly on the scroll in blood. "Summoning Jutsu, Great Thesauri!"

Two great dinosaurs made of words appeared and started to devour and crush and dismantle the opposing forces as Scarlet led the way through the thick of the fight. The Thesauri screamed and roared and bellowed as they devoured, ate, and feasted upon the ninja that were attacking them. Scarlet felt bad for leaving them like this, but she knocked aside Itachi and Tobi and took off, leading Dreamer and Sasuke away from the mess.

_Somehow I'll get back here and make sure that the Sound Village crumbles_, Scarlet thought, running into the forest. _Without Dreamer..._

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Shortly after making it away from the dangerous place that was the Sound village, Dreamer grew tired of dragging the heavy burden that was Sasuke and summoned a creature of her own. It was a Dictionon, a winged dinosaur with a beaked maw made of words, to carry time the rest of the way to Konoha. She stuck the end of the rope in the mouth of the Dictionon, so during the whole flight Sasuke was suspended in air. He was less than pleased with this decision, but he had no power here. Scarlet enjoyed torturing him on the journey home by making the Dictionon do tricks and get close to the ground so the stony Sasuke would bump into things. Dreamer just shook her head. Sasuke would certainly feel all of this once he was free again.

The Dictionon came to land on top of the Fourth Hokage's great head, dropping Sasuke to the ground before it took its perch. Scarlet slid gracefully from its back to join him, and Dreamer simply leapt off its back. She bid her creation farewell before it poofed out of existence again. Then she turned to face Tsunade and Jiraiya, who were both smiling at the girls' success.

"Well done, you two. Your mission was a better success than I expected," Tsunade remarked, stepping forward with her hand extended. "Congratulations. What you've done has caused us all to be in your debt."

"It was no trouble at all, Lady Tsunade," Dreamer said, taking her hand.

"Pffft! Speak for yourself! You had the easy job of capturing the stupid Emo potato! I had to distract Orochimaru and his ninja, and let me tell you that was not easy!" Scarlet exclaimed.

"Well, we're just glad you survived and brought back the Uchiha," Jiraiya put in.

"Yes, and I'm glad I bet on you guys because it got me two thousand ryo richer," Tsunade agreed with a glance in Jiraiya's direction, and the big white-haired man became flustered at the mentioning of his failed bet. "But I think it's time you released Sasuke from your jutsu. Wait much longer and he might be petrified forever."

"Is that really a bad thing? At least that way he wouldn't be able to leave again and Orochimaru would have no use for his body," Scarlet pointed out.

Dreamer smiled and shook her head at her companion's comment, placing a green chakra-covered hand on Sasuke's stone shoulder. "I don't think he'll be going anywhere anytime soon."

Sasuke rolled away from Dreamer once he was back to normal. He jumped to his feet and glared at everyone. "I didn't want to come back here!" he snarled.

"We can't get everything we want in life," Scarlet commented, grabbing him by the ear. "So you're just going to have to get used to it." She smiled. "Besides, your fan-girls are going to get a kick out of your new abs…"

"You and abs," Dreamer muttered, rolling her eyes as she straightened. "Now, will there be anything else that you need us for, Lady Tsunade?"

"Nothing I can think of," Tsunade said, accepting the money from Jiraiya. "You may leave."

"Good," Scarlet said, vanishing in a swirl of a scroll.

Dreamer vanished as well, intent on finding Naruto. It was time to say goodbye.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**A/N: And so there you have it, another update for those who choose to read and review. But in my opinion, I doubt you read this and will review. I dare you to prove me wrong.**


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